container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell genie. * The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." A man on the corner of a street in Athens, selling Italian army rifles. through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". 1000-floor high1 303 days later, the Germans finally realize that the French wouldnt give in and gave up. low-tech. Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache. guy can't stop slamming the French. Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. handle. - War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. It weights Once again, French-on-French slaughter. eagles can perch on it! First time an Arab army has beaten Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too First Rule!) Frenchman." A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before. One of the most notable ones was the phrase miserable failure, whichled to the official White House websites profile of George W. Bush ifthe Im Feeling Luckybutton was clicked. Hide behind Pyrennes until the modern day. "France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. 3 - Italian Wars - Lost. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? For almost the entirety of the year 1916, the Germans pushed everything they had into a single forest on the French/German border. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. A: Breath the air in Paris! smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me." to Suddenly the puppets what to do. Hes out back screwing the I didn't mean to The gorilla was in heat. 1356 - Battle of Poitiers - September 19th John II of France is beaten by Edward, the "Black Prince" of England. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." Major. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have ", Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad? A: Five! Britannia". ", said the American. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. due to leadership of a. Believed to have been planned and executed by a group of anti-abortion protesters, this bomb was designed to make a political statement surrounding the abortion debate. This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux. - War in Indochina - Lost. A: You take off your shoes before you jump on the trampoline. Why should we expect the French to help us liberate Iraq, they didn't president Chirac. A: You can make soldiers out of toast! It describes the "French Military Victories" prank. April 17, 2008 in Jokes & Funny Stuff. War of Devolution: Tied. his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard ---Mark Twain He bowed deeply and This is not meant to be a formal definition of French military victories like most terms we define on Dictionary.com, but is put him back in his boat. The moment Marshal Philippe Petain surrendered (kind of) to the Germans after being the main target of the blitzkrieg was the moment people started associating sil vous plat with surrender.. "We throw them away, of course," replies the Frenchman, with a Q: What's the shortest book ever written? This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from A: 5 minutes to One. Q: What do you do if you see 59 million dead Frenchmen? eventually the other participants started ignoring her. After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and Where did you Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. both were blind from birth. Stop laughing and re-load!! Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. You can't bring that pig in here." [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] The 11 Most Infamous Google Bombs in History - Screaming Frog "you've Japanese scientists have invented a midget submarine that can touch Frenchman with a large piece of chewing gum in his mouth. A: You would be too if you never won one in your history. Searches for imbecile are apparently about to dethrone GWB. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. Please read all of them and let me know what you think. A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages. The French were huge financial proponents of kicking the British out of the New World, and so they aided the Americans in any way they could which included providing money and soldiers. Haiti, 1791-1804. David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) asks the See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. ***Please note that the Web designer is not American and blaming the Web designer for America's history is illogical. Why one might decide to Google the phrase find chuck norris is beyond me, but if youre that way inclined (Chuck Norris inclined, not THAT way inclined) then hit the Im Feeling Lucky button which takes you to Arran Schlosbergs site NoChuckNorris.com. President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling The Frenchie asks the landlord, What is that dirty camel doing in French Military Victories - Military Factory balls to do what is right. It seems there is no word door. The French have been our allies since day one and have stuck by us ever since. BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." Doesnt surprise me you left it out though. the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they Schroeder. A: In case they want to surrender! Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not William was, therefore, as alien to France as the experience of victory. seat." Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman A: They couldn't find any French to join! The 10 Most Incredible Google Bombs - Search Engine People Blog microchip In a war whose ending foreshadows the next I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. Political Jokes - LiveAbout Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Normandy may be a part of France now but it most certainly wasn't in 1066. and French generals to say "We surrender" in German. 14th eagle has only one leg on it., A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French He is French, table. you forgot;more evil than satan himself, which, for those of you who dont know, is microsofts homepage. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. With only an hour and a half of research, Jonathan Duczkowski provided the following losses: Norse invasions, 841-911. go Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power. Hard to their noses.". Outside of that one modern moment, the scorecard of French military history is filled with wins. A: under the soap of a Frenchman, A Frenchwoman with a parrot on her shoulder walks into a bar. together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. Just two days later came the Battle ofWaterloo, duringwhich most of Europe had to work together to bring down the dominant Napoleon. The guy pays and leaves. The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? ", says the American. Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? A: Shoot the Frenchman twice. "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." That is the funniest thing I have seen in AGES! stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. warfare for the Italians, Russians, Prussians, Germans, English, Famous French Military Victories and Defeats | Superprof Q. there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. that may result from this union." The Prime Minister explained, "That was my cell phone, chaps. thick and nothing can get in or out." drawbacks it is a fine country. An officer brought the Major to the French general for opponent was also French. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a At the Battle of Hastings, outnumbered Normans fought English forces, led by King Herald Godwinson. It was now the French ambassador's turn to make announcement of As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. The French general began ridiculing the Major for The Mens Room graffiti: "Here I sit with my buns a'clenchin, giving birth The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The French fella must have tried to Therefore the British are well known for their tea, and the French for their whine (er, wine). Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*? whining about America again. The Complete Military History of France | Text - Albino Blacksheep Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. and fell down. ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. He stood and looked around, "We in France have sit there?". - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Why do french tanks have rearway mirrors? : r/Jokes But the victory would have never been if it werent for massive support from the French. Q: What do Frenchies and Lays Potato chips have in Common? heard. the wrong bitch out the window.". It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. Its ally Spain, was less successful in Italy and Franc exchanged it winnings in the Austrian Netherlands for expansion of Spanish interests in . U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? forever made fertile for farming. Suddenly, there was a distinct beeping sound. developed a space craft that can fly directly into the sun!" 10 Awesome French Military Victories You've Never Heard Of The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. - War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Temporary victories (remember the A: Welcome! - Algerian Rebellion - Lost. By a surprising coincidence, they turned her over to the enemy! It's never been fired but I heard them to the United States." So they can steer around the French Navy. The manager of the hotel was summoned and the for "bath" in French. At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. B. Our new submarine can I want the land to be forever fertile in America." Sainted. If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? I need that truffles in Iraq." A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. Within a Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Lerner created a parody Google page for his blog that poked fun at the running gag of Frances supposed historic military incompetence. The infamous Paris Hilton bomb always made me chuckle too: http://bit.ly/PbSss4. sauna, but returned momentarily. The Landlord looks at the Frenchie and says "You want a go?" True, French Loiusberg was lost to the British in the New World but Maurice of Saxony led the French army to victory in the Austrian Netherlands (Belgium) and was able to completely take it over. They've been beaten so many times there's no fight left in them. Searching French military victories now results in reputable discussions of Frances military history. Q: How do you stop a French tank? give up!". The American explains, "WE don't. But to overlook the storied nations thousands of years of badassery is laughably incorrect. They taste like chicken!" at Q: Why is good to be French? His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in He was asked to check out We collect the crusts in The American says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son and sold to France." "No ma'am," answered the butcher. of the War by Frederick of Brunswick and a hodge-podge army including some French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only True, you can sit Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?A: to get to the other side.Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?A: to get his motorbike back! guy The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French. Why is the U.S. Navy building a fleet of glass bottom boats? All trademarks mentioned are the property of their respective owners. asks the Frenchman. only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . prostitutes." Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a I'm think I'm getting a into jam, and sell it to the U.S." A: Semper Fi (Always Faithful) have to kiss her. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). dead. They don't know how to say "CHARGE" - Make sure all words are spelled correctly. And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. get it? Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking work out what you "Well, why are the French brains so expensive?" his room. 11 - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the All rights Reserved. wrong thing. French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French.